I Want to Break Your Heart with My Kiss
by KookieEvans
Summary: Alex Drake doesn't know who to trust, what's happening or what she wants anymore. Keats/Alex but with ongoing themes of Galex.


**Disclaimer : I do NOT own the marvellous Ashes to Ashes!**

**Author's Note:**** Hey everyone!**

**God. My first Ashes to Ashes fic! This idea has been kicking around in my head for quite a while now, so last night I stayed up late and wrote it all down :) I just couldn't let Ashes to Ashes end and know that I hadn't written a fanfiction about it! So I sat down and got everthing sorted out.**

**I realise it won't go this way in tonight's episode. But I saw this moment and the trailer and my brain went off on one.**

**Also, I am one of the few people who absolutely loves Jim Keats! I have a few more stories floating about involving him, which I may or may not write depending on tonight's episode!**

**Anyways, enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!**

* * *

Alex slid through the CID doors silently, hoping to go in unnoticed. She dared a quick glance towards Gene's office, breathing a silent sigh of relief when it appeared he was too immersed in his work to notice her. She crossed the room quietly and slumped into her chair, resting her trembling hands on the desk in front of her. Just thinking if the night before made her heart pound: the way they had danced together, the feel of his strong hand on his back, how he must have felt when she deserted him…

Alex rubbed a hand over her weary face. Things had been progressing so well, things had looked like they would be returning to normal (perhaps even more than before) then Keats had managed to turn everything on its head with a single old photograph. What did any of it mean anyway? Was it really possible that Gene was a murderer?

Unable to ignore the urge anymore, Alex looked over at him, only to find that Gene was already staring at her. She shivered under his gaze, his icy blue eyes seeming to bore straight into her. He stood slowly and she gulped dryly, not ready for this moment yet. This was the time that could make or break their relationship…and she was terrified.

"Alex?" Her head whipped up, startled, when she heard someone say her name. Jim Keats was leaning over her desk, his face serious and somewhat tired. "Can we talk?"

"Of course!" She stumbled over her words in her haste, springing from her seat. A short glance back at Gene was all she needed; he had paused on his way to opening his office door and was glaring furiously at Keats. Alex's breath hitched when she saw his expression and quickly hurried after the D and C officer. Jim held the door open courteously, and she flashed him a weak smile as she squeezed past him, feeling Gene's gaze burn into her back until she was down the corridor and out of his view.

* * *

The blaring heat of Jim's office hit Alex as soon as she stepped through the door, and stood with her back to one of the walls as he rested on the edge of his desk. He took off his glasses, chewing on one of the arms thoughtfully as he watched her.

"Do you agree with me? About Gene?" He asked nervously, his forehead creasing into a frown. "Please Alex, tell me what you think. I need to know I'm not alone."

"I don't know what I think anymore," She whispered, rubbing her arm and wishing it wasn't quite so hot. "Gene's my DCI, and he's going through so much lately. I should be helping him, not…not-"

Jim cut off her frantic babbling when he stepped forward and caught her face in his hands. Alex jumped at the coldness of his hands, which should have been unpleasant, but in the heat it was surprisingly refreshing.

"You've done so much to help everyone around you Alex. Now you have to help yourself." His thumbs caressed her cheeks softly. "That means trusting me."

Alex stared into Jim's dark eyes, and felt something slip deep inside her. She was so tired of lies, of hiding from the truth. She needed pure knowledge about this place and the people in it if she ever wanted to find some shred of happiness. Her eyes filled up with the tears she had tried to hold back for so long.

"I trust you." Her voice cracked and Jim opened his arms for her so she could fall against his chest. Alex's hands clutched at his suit jacket while she sobbed into his shoulder, close enough to smell his spicy, warm aftershave. He stroked her back comfortingly until she remembered herself and pulled back slightly.

"Sorry," She murmured and chuckled bitterly. "I must look a right state."

Jim took in her embarrassed pink cheeks and smudged mascara.

"Hardly," He smiled lopsidedly. "You look beautiful."

Alex's eyes widened and her lips parted in an almost inaudible gasp. Jim's fingers brushed her chin, tilting her face up towards his. She knew what was going to happen next, but she didn't know whether she could stop it (or even if she wanted it to stop). As their faces drew closer a tear slid cleanly down her face and she realised this was the point of no return. In just a few seconds everything could change, and there would be no going back. Alex's eyes fluttered to a close and she closed the gap between them, her lips millimetres from his, when suddenly the door banged open noisily.

The two sprang apart guiltily, heads swivelling to the doorway. To Alex's horror and Jim's delight, Gene was stood there in shock. For a few seconds an agonized look crossed his face until he schooled his features into his customary pout.

"Well Drake," He spat bitterly. "If you're quite done, some of us have work to do."

Alex stared at Gene, feeling guilt and self-hate course through her, before rubbing at the wet mascara stained tear tracks on her cheeks and walking towards her DCI, who turned his back and began to walk back to CID.

"Alex, wait!" She turned automatically, and without quite realising what was happening she felt Jim's lips descend on hers. It had been far too long since someone had held her so lovingly, let alone kissed her, so she ended up responding passionately despite everything, despite the man she loved watching them just from a few metres away.

The kiss may have lasted only a few brief seconds but Jim's lips had sent her mind reeling as she whispered a goodbye and walked towards Gene, who had frozen in the corridor. His face was unreadable, but as she brushed past him she felt any connection they may have had shatter, and she knew she had ruined any chance they could have had of being together.

Alex had never known she could break her own heart with a kiss.


End file.
